It's my 4 year Bloggiversary!

IYA LUVS!

On this day four years ago, I decided to start blogging. Having found confidence in writing, which since, has grown into something I never could have expected, I thought, "Why the hell not?! I can share my experiences, which will help me process them, and hopefully, help whoever reads them."

I'll be honest, I don't know who reads my blogs apart from my close friends and family, so if my blogs have helped you over these past four years, then I know I've achieved what I set out to do. 

Of course, I'm not stopping! I'm making it sound like the end of an era when it's really not. I want to continue blogging for as long as I can, in the hope it will reach more people and you can all have a little bit of Mancunian Charm in your life. 

So, what's this blog about? 

I reached out to my Instagram followers and asked what they wanted to read, because truth be told: I couldn't decide on a subject. I write so much about my creative life and mental health that I just wanted to open it up to the people who read it, see what you wanted and go with that. So throughout this blog, you'll see topics in bold - those are from you guys (thank you!) and I'll do my best to entertain you and bring your comfort with my words for a bit.

Right 60th blog post - let's be having you!

HOW TO DEAL WITH ANXIETY

I feel like you lot, especially those that follow me on Instagram, are very in tune with me as a person. Of course, you don't know from my silence online that I am depressed or anxious or whatever, but you always notice my absent periods. There is something in that, that I will forever be humbled by. I suppose it's the feeling of being appreciated and supported.

For anybody that suffers with ANY form of mental health problem, having somebody that will listen to you and support you, even in the smallest of ways, is really important. Sometimes, that person can notice things within you before you notice them yourself, and that can sometimes prevent us from experiencing the severities of our conditions. 

Truth be told, my anxiety, in particular, is something I am still learning to manage efficiently. I haven't always suffered with anxiety or depression like I do now, but I have always noticed the mood swings I experience. As I've gotten older, and I've gained a greater understanding of the world, of myself and what triggers my mental health; I've started to pick up on the things that really help me in times of need. 

Firstly, when I'm about to have a panic attack, I am on high alert and everything I think and feel is heightened. It's really important to have space, because that is what I feel I don't have in my head. When I have passed through that peak of emotion and panic, I will usually get myself to a safe place physically, like my bedroom, where I know there is little risk of it happening again and the chances of me putting myself in any danger are very slim. 

I use a Rescue Remedy Comfort and Reassure spray (which bloody works!), one of my favourite candles surrounded by crystals (spirituality is quite important to me, but I realise this won't work for everyone) and I open up the window if it isn't already open. Any negative energy is let out and the room is filled with a scent I like and associate with the feeling of calm. 

For most people, myself included, we have something that allows us to reconnect with our centre's and reground ourselves. For me, that is listening to music. If I put music on aloud or in my headphones, I feel my whole body relax. I focus on the notes, the rhythms and the lyrics and let is take me to a place I know I will always feel safe and comforted. 

Weirdly, I get the same find of feeling when I clean. I escape from whatever I was thinking about or feeling because I physically engage with an activity that involves getting rid of sh*t and making it sparkle!

I've found that during Lockdown, my anxiety has worsened. I feel overwhelmed and filled with dread often. So, that has been challenging and trying to find coping strategies has been even harder. 

One thing I would recommend is finding something you know you enjoy doing and doing it! Physically immerse yourself in an activity. 

I was reading about mood-stabilising activities the other week. For example, running is a mood-stabilising activity. I always find I have more mental clarity after a run, and that's because of what the hormones have done in my body whilst and after I've run. It's really fascinating.

I don't take any prescribed medication for my mental health and that is a choice. I used to, but I've reached a point where, I would rather experience what I experience to whatever depths I experience them, without the impact of additional hormones. For some people, they need medication and that's absolutely okay, but for people like me, they might not want medication for whatever reason, so finding natural remedies is really important. Whether it's a mood-stabilising activity you can turn to, a physical or mental activity that you have to give your entire focus over too or something like a supplement - have those things readily available or be prepared to take those actions when you need to. 

Lastly, and this is really important; it's very difficult to describe to someone what you're experiencing and even harder for them to understand it, especially if they themselves don't suffer with severe mental health problems. However, letting somebody know what's wrong can help to lighten your mental load, even if you don't realise it. 

Let's not disregard the fact that you will feel tired, perhaps deflated or lethargic too when you come down from that peak of anxiety either, so again, if someone is aware of what you're going through, they can help you or even just be with you as you return to a neutral state. 

Like I said before, feeling supported, appreciated and HEARD can help to a person to heal. 

REHEARSAL/AUDITION STORIES

I might need a few hours of your time for this...

The one that came to mind was when myself and my friend, Jenny, went to the Six The Musical open casting call in London. We essentially, spent 24 hours together as we ventured down to London, stayed at my best mates house (thanks Jas), did the audition, meandered around London and got the Megabus back home. 

I'd had a 48 hour fiasco prior to the audition day as I tried to get all the things I needed together. When we arrived we were faced with a sea of young women with black, block heeled boots and here we were in our character shoes and let's not even mention the 10 by 8 headshots we got printed especially for the audition that got handed back to us. 

The bottom line was, we weren't the best dancers in the room that day but we went to support one another and give it a bloody good go. That's exactly what we did... and we met some interesting characters along the way. 

The best thing about that entire day was Don and Bobble, these two northern simpletons or should I say personas, that me and Jenny had taken on throughout the day. Was it really Becca and Jenny that auditioned for Six? I think it was Don and Bobble! But the funniest thing happened on the way back home to Manchester on the Megabus... we wrote a 10 part comedy sketch, featuring Don and Bobble and their adventure down to London for the Six The Musical Open Call and DEFINITELY laughed so loud that the entire bus could hear us. 

Due to COVID, we are yet to perform the sketch live and let me not forget to mention how Jenny never got back up from getting down at that audition. One day Jenny, one day.

WHO INSPIRES ME

My Mum. One thousand percent.

My best friend, Jas, and my sister, Jess. 

My boyfriend, Adam, without doubt.

All the creatives within the Blue Balloon Theatre community and those I've met throughout my career so far - simply amazing people!

You, my friend, Jordan, who asked this question. One of the most dedicated and lovely actors I've ever met. 

Anyone that chooses to utilise the power their voice holds.

Simon McBurney.

Cillian Murphy.

ADVICE ON OVERCOMING FEARS

Confront/face them.

Whatever it is that scares you, is the thing you should face next and remember when it feels the most scary to take the plunge, that's when you should take it. 

A lot of the nerves you feel before you do something come from self doubt, so try to focus on any moment where you experience self belief and run with it. 

A few years back, I set myself a few personal goals to do certain things as a creative. The reason why was because I was scared and I thought, surely if I do those things, I'll become fearless about those aspects of this industry? That's exactly what happened and believe me when I say, the first fear you face will have a knock on effect. You'll start to confront tasks that once daunted you with ease and confidence. 

I think that's what confronting my fears has given me: confidence, and I would absolutely recommend it. 

Thank you so much for reading my 60th blog post on my 4th Bloggiversary - it really does mean the world. 

Lots of love, 

Rebecca x