Why I always wrote my poetry in pencil!

IYA LUVS!

Grab a brew and let's have a chat after so long of not blogging. Time is going stupidly fast this year, isn't it?! So please excuse the fact I haven't posted on here since October 31st - life just got busy and fast!

This blog has been an idea for a few weeks now and it came as a result of beginning to share my poetry and spoken word publicly this year. 

I've actually been writing poetry since 2017, not long after the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August. From that point onward, I'd type poetry out in my phone notes (there's now enough for at least two books!) and after a year or so, I started to write them into empty notebooks. I also found it aesthetically pleasing to have my poetry written in a book instead of on my phone. 

Truth be told, I was quite shy about sharing my poetry with the world. There was something much more personal and intimate about sharing my words and my thoughts in poetic form than say, singing a song or performing in a play. This was my experience of life, of people and feelings written in a rhythmic way, that could change several times in a poem because I find it a challenge to stick to one rhyming scheme and would be written entirely from the heart, because I write when I  experience a heightened emotion or feeling! To expose that? Well, it felt like a big step!

I didn't realise I'd done this until earlier this year but when I started to write my poems into my poetry books, I wrote in pencil. It was a completely subconscious choice, but one that now, tells me so much about my lack of confidence in sharing my work and perhaps, even in the work itself.

When you feel the most scared to jump, that's when you should jump!

I think the thing I was most scared of was other poets, writer's who had degree's in English and knew everything about poetry, structure etc etc etc seeing my work and criticising it. But poetry is an art form and is therefore subjective; based on or influenced by personal belief or feeling, rather than facts.

Poetry, like dance, acting, singing, drawing, or another form of writing, is a chance to express oneself in a way that maybe cannot be done in plain speech.

The moment I chose the rip of the plaster and post my first piece of poetry online officially, was shortly after and Instagram Live with a dear friend and beautiful poet, Lauren Creswell (she's got a book of poetry which you should DEFINITELY buy, it's called Lust.). Our conversation was so open and honest and once I made it known that I was holding back from sharing my work, she encouraged me to do it even more so, that now was the time and I honestly think, had I not have had that push at that moment, I wouldn't have done it. So thank you, Lauren. 

Once I'd shared the first poem, the rest followed with ease and now, I can't honestly put into words how much the feedback, comments, likes and views have meant to me. It has given me the boost I needed in being able to pursue writing and sharing poetry in the way I wanted to. I now feel I have a vision for the future of my work too, which is so exciting!

I also write my poetry in pen now too, making it inerasable and bolder (both literally and metaphorically). 

Let's be real, you get one life and you choose what you do with it. I know that I want my poetry to be heard, read and remembered so I have a duty to share my work with the world, both for myself and for others. 

Be brave, and the rest will follow!

Lots of love,

Rebecca xxx