Acting my way through this!

IYA LUV!

Go grab a cuppa and let's begin!

The last time I wrote a blog was at the beginning of August and it had such a wonderful response - thank you! It meant and means so much, especially because it contains so much of my personal journey with body image.

This blog is more to do with my creativity and how I've been using it to deal with the mass confusion that comes with Boris's instructions and an incredible lack of direction I'm feeling toward my acting career and what will happen next!

Disclaimer: I actually started writing this about a week ago but was in a very emotional and anxious place, so thought it best to leave it for a while and come back when I felt ready.

For anyone that's new to my blog, hey! 💜 I'm Rebecca (Becca) from Manchester, I'm an actor-singer. I run my own theatre company, Blue Balloon Theatre. I write songs, poetry, play guitar (a little) and the Ukulele (a lot). I also blog and vlog (love a good rhyme!) and generally speaking, live for anything remotely artistic. I also make smoothies a lot (check my Instagram).

I find that it really fuels me as a person, being creative! It gives me a great sense of purpose, focus and fulfilment. 

At the moment, I'm working through a weeks worth of creative content and online events that I've produced, coordinated, edited, marketed, designed and performed in with my theatre company. 
With the current state of our industry, we want to be a beacon of light and inspiration to those who may need at most at this time. 

I'd be lying if I said it felt like work. I started up the company when I found a passion for and confidence in my own writing, so it's always been something very close to my heart but this past week or so and especially in the lead up to the week of celebration and content (BTW, it's Blue Balloon's 4th birthday - that's kind of what sparked the idea of putting this fabulous week together!), I found myself running on... well, I'm not even sure what!

It went from being a passion project to a coping strategy! 

I, like so many other people, am currently applying for regular work. Or, as us creatives would call it; 'a muggle job'. I even went for a job interview in Liverpool yesterday, and I live in Manchester! Honestly though, I need work now more than ever and so many of us do, so we have to take these opportunities when they arise.

The thought of not being able to earn my living from my chosen profession makes me very sad and very stressed. I even said to my mum and boyfriend yesterday, "If I don't have an acting job over Christmas, I will honestly go do-lally!"

So not only is the burden of not having paid work and our current climate laying heavy on my head and heart but I've also put a lot of time, energy and passion into putting my theatre company's birthday week together and now, making sure it runs as smoothly as possible.

I took a step away from Blue Balloon for a couple of days last week, mainly to reground myself and try and eliviate some of the anxiety I was experiencing. I feel we all need that from time to time. We all need to do something just because we feel like doing it. So that's what I did! I created a YouTube video my channel after just over 2 months break and loved every second of it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAG2SbsaI9U (Cheeky plug!)

I'm not saying it solved all myself problems, but that time away from working on Blue Balloon work and the feeling of barely having my sh*t together, gave me a little bit of perspective. I actually had very little left to do between then and the birthday week. I was simply feeling overwhelmed by the mental traffic in my head.

Have you ever noticed that? When you feel down, everything else you experience around that time becomes worrying, negative or anxiety ridden too?

Crazy really, and I needn't have worried because I actually did have everything under control - even if my brain was telling me otherwise. 

Even though it felt like a coping strategy last week, it feels like more and more of an accomplishment as the birthday week unfolds. I'm so proud of what we've achieved and generally speaking, I feel in a much better headspace to approach things rationally and from a place of calm.

I actually think, the month prior to the birthday week and the work I put in - yes, it stressed me out at times, but it gave me such a sense of drive and focus that I hadn't had for a good while. I was able to perform again, I was able to work with a script in hand and act my way through the day... even for a little while. Aaaaah - bliss!

I was hosting our first Q&A today with a wonderful actor and dear friend, Stephen Smith, and we spoke briefly about why we love acting. How it allows us to see the world through someone else's eyes and that it is incredibly exciting going from job to job, knowing the roles you'll take on are so vastly different and challenging in their own way.

 

Acting can allow you to learn more about life, human nature and I think the individuality of a person's mind, behaviour and what affect's it. 

Ruddy wonderful it is!!

~

Acting my way through this pandemic and lack of work has been the thing that's kept me going and despite the current state of the arts industry, I truly believe we, as a collective community of artists, have come together in such a way, that we feel supported in knowing we aren't alone even in isolation.

That we have the ability to create even whilst everything else seems uncertain, feels like a blessing. It shouldn't be ignored or left unutilized. 

Anyway, I best be off now.

Thank you for reading my blog, you wonderful people. I hope this has given you a sense of relief of positivity as we move through another week. 

Look after yourselves.

Lots of love,

Rebecca x